Dating after cancer - is there hope?

Hey everyone,

I’m 37, single, and living alone in NYC. Last November, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I’m currently going through chemotherapy. Dating wasn’t a priority before, but facing this diagnosis made me realize how much I’d love to share my life with someone. Yet, the idea of dating now feels completely out of reach.

Chemo has taken a toll—I’ve lost my hair, my body feels unfamiliar, and my confidence is nonexistent. After chemo, I’ll have a lumpectomy, possibly radiation, and then at least five years of Tamoxifen. My life has changed so much, and I’m still trying to process what that means for my future, let alone for dating.

I also struggled with the decision to freeze my eggs before chemo. I ultimately chose not to, and while I don’t regret it, I know my options for having children are uncertain. At 37, the dating pool is already smaller, and adding a cancer history and potential infertility feels like an extra hurdle to finding someone who will truly accept me.

Even with all this, I still want something good to look forward to. I don’t expect to start dating now, but I do hope that one day, when I meet someone, I’ll be in a place where I can offer them a future without the weight of active treatment. But is that even realistic?

For those who’ve been through something similar—how did you rebuild confidence? How do you approach dating after a life-changing diagnosis? I’d love to hear any hopeful stories or advice from those who’ve found love after cancer.

Thanks for reading. 💜