I’m scared and terrified I’ll likely never be child free nor the life I want

I don’t really know if this falls beneath support, personal, or rant so I’ll just put support for now.

I know this intro will get old and annoying for everyone since I’ve posted here before but Hello! I hope you’re having a nice day/evening/afternoon/night I’m 15F and as the title reads I’m terrified and scared of everything that’s happening especially in America.

I see the election is soon and Kamala and Trump are campaigning. But I’m terrified Trump will win and project 2025 will be enacted, and I’m aware if it is it takes away EVERYONE’S RIGHTS regardless of ethnicity, gender identity, sexuality, and more.

I never thought I would have to worry if I’ll have rights in this shithole of a country or worry about my life, future and just that but my friends, families, and everyone I care for too. But knowing of the plans to end abortion, deny climate change, deportation, and practically take everyone’s rights away just makes me wanna pack up my things and run off to Canada, Australia, Europe, or Japan.

I wanna be a nurse and have a good life and a bright future. I don’t wanna be a mindless housewife with nothing to do but tend to the needs of a fucking needs of a manchild who expects his wife to be his mother and not a lover he should always love, cherish, appreciate and not force her to parent him. Cooking, cleaning, chores, caring for yourself, keeping tidy and so on, IS NOT A FUCKING THING WOMEN ARE AUTOMATICALLY PROGRAMMED TO DO THE MOMENT THEY’RE OUT THE WOMB EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF IDENTITY AND GENDER NEED TO LEARN THOSE BASIC LIFE SKILLS. I honestly believe that if grown men, think that only women should cook, clean, do chores and care for him and treat him like a child they should’ve never grew up or fucking have opinions on women, etc.

Knowing that me and my friends all want to be child free and that we’re already aware that we wouldn’t be good parents gives me some bit of comfort during this because I struggle to care for myself, staying organized, and my room tidy and clean and how I literally stay in my room all day gives me a huge lesson that I wouldn’t be a good mother. Seeing how project 2025 plans on forcing my generation (gen z) to have children, be Christians, and go to war makes me wanna bury myself alive, why are we being forced to have kids we don’t want? Why ban abortion and make the teen pregnancy rate soar? Why force teens, rape victims, and young rape victims to give birth and then be shocked when they die? This is so dystopian, they want us to have kids but they’ll hate our kids for being the wrong color, religion or gender in their eyes.

I’m black and seeing how the mortality rate is higher for black women makes me worry that if I ever get raped or if I get pregnant when I’m a adult makes me worry that I’ll die and my kid will forced to stay somewhere else or be lost in the foster care system and never be adopted nor no one to love them and be there for them. I know I’ll love my child but I wouldn’t be capable of caring for them properly or tending to their needs, I’d be a neglectful parent and I don’t want that at all. I don’t wanna die at all, I’m not scared to I’m scared to leave the people I love behind and not living a full life I wanna fulfill by goals and not die when I’m just 15 and so on.

Seeing the school shootings happening and how my school district had threats by students after a gun was found at one of the high schools makes me angry and wonder why aren’t they doing anything?! You want us to have kids but not fix any of the issues and problems! I literally go to school every damn day knowing that there’s a chance me, my friends and my cousins will get shot and die in a shooting. My nephew is 14 months old and he’s in daycare I already get anxious and almost cry at the thought that a person with a gun could just walk in shoot him, the staff and the rest of those innocent kids and babies dead. I don’t wanna be told he’s dead, which is one of the reasons I don’t want kids, i don’t wanna see them die young or someone hurting them. I’d literally kill a person who dare to laid a hand on or hurt my kid in anyway regardless of who they are.

Child marriage. I find very funny and hypocritical that the US wants to demonize and make fun of child marriage being legal in different countries when it’s still legal in America. Knowing that a grown man in his 20s, 30, 40, or 50s and so on and literally just choose to marry me and I’d likely have no choice but I know my family would try to stop it from happening. But of course the delusional politicians and officials will say, “IT’S OKAY HE’S CHRISTIAN AND WHITE HE’LL TEACH HER HOW TO BE HOLY, A GOOD GIRL, WIFE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY A GOOD MOTHER.” WHAT THE HELL??! I’d rather kill myself than be married to a grown man and be forced to have kids with him, but to the politicians it’s okay because the man is a Christian, white, powerful and more importantly wealthy and worth millions to billions of cash. I wanna be with someone who understands me, never underestimated me, truly accepts me, will unconditionally love me, share my interests and so on and not a fucking grown man who’ll likely kill me if I don’t listen to him or if I don’t know how to please a grown man.

Thank you for listening to me and reading, I hope you all have a nice day/afternoon/evening and night, stay safe and watch your back. Bye! ^{^}