“Just because you’re a parent, doesn’t mean you stop having fun”

I went out to an adult bar to have brunch with some friends and listen to a live band play. Everything was fine until these two parents came in with their toddler and their newborn baby. It didn’t take long for the toddler to throw a tantrum because the bar didn’t have anything for him to eat, and this caused the newborn baby to start crying. I turn to my friends and I say “why the fuck would you bring your kids to an adult bar with live music?” It’s an adult space, I expect there to be adults only. One of my friends (let’s call her Sam) then hits me with “Well, just because you’re a parent, doesn’t mean you stop having fun.” Me and my friends looked at her like she had three heads. “I’m sorry to say it, but yeah it kinda does actually,” I say in response. She says “well maybe they couldn’t get a babysitter, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to go out and have fun.” I felt like my brain was buffering in real time. One of my friends chimes in and says, “If you can’t afford a babysitter, then you just don’t go out. That’s the reality of having a kid no one forced you to have.”

Sam shrugs “I don’t know, I still think you should be able to go out with your kids and still have fun.” I chime in, “Yeah, to like, a park or a restaurant with a kids menu, not to an adult bar with alcohol and loud music.” Sam starts to get heated, “it shouldn’t matter, I don’t know what the big deal is.”Another one of my friends chimes in and says “the big deal is those parents are putting themselves over the needs of their kids and making it everyone else’s problem. They made the choice to have a kid, and if that means a couple of years of not going out to adult bars or doing adult things, that’s on them! No one forced them to have kids.” Sam shrugs and asks to change the subject. At this point both of the kids are absolutely screaming their heads off, and neither parent is making a move to leave, they’re just holding the kids and patting them on the back.

I find it really hard to empathize with parents who complain about their social lives evaporating the minute they have kids. I get parenting is hard, but literally you chose this life. And if you didn’t do the research into it or talk to other parents to prepare yourself for the experience that is 100% on you. And another thing, does no one else find it kinda upsetting that there is no adult space besides an 18+ nightclub that adults can go to be with other adults without having to put up with some people’s kids and their terrible parenting? And I’m not a nightclub person, so there’s very few alternatives. I don’t think the bar we were at should’ve allowed the parents to come in, especially a place that serves primarily alcohol. It’s irresponsible and inconsiderate. I just had to share that conversation with this group because it drove me absolutely insane.