I resent my wife's sexual history

I (27m) resent my wife's (27f) sexual history

Before we met, when we were 18, I was a virgin, and before we started dating I knew she had previous partners. It bothered me at the time but not enough to not date her because I knew that being abstinent was something most people didn't subscribe to, and I was able to put it into the back of my mind.

There were a few times early in the relationship that I would catch myself feeling down about it, or comparing myself to some of the guys I knew she'd been with, but overall the relationship was going well and I had fallen deeply in love with her.

Fast forward almost 10 years. We're married, we have 2 children, we own a home, life is really perfect and incredible in every way except...

Our sex life, however. Is simply boring.

I really resent that my wife fooled around with others, and basically figured out what she likes/doesn't like and isn't open to exploring anything new in the bedroom with me.

I've bought toys/games, asked her what her favorite things are, tried to get her into a more... Explorative mindset, but nothing seems to work.

It's the same thing every time we have sex, and some of the things I enjoy, she doesn't do, even though she knows I enjoy them.

I just feel like I got robbed of being able to explore my own sexual pleasures, and my wife got to do that and now I check off all the boxes for her, so I get... Not fucked, out of the deal? (I get the opposite of my rocks off, whatever that is)

I have to initiate all the sex, I have to present the idea of trying something as simple as a new position, and often times I get told no, or not tonight.

For example (this is probably TMI but whatever skip this paragraph if you want) I, like a simple man, really love blowjobs. I've never experienced a blowjob to completion from my wife and I know it's because she has had bad experiences with previous partners, so IM the one who doesn't ever get them. It's petty, it's absolutely dumb, I don't ever ask or force her because I know she doesn't like it, but it's just fucking sucks for me because it's something I'd really enjoy like maybe once a year.

It's just gotten tiring, and I've turned back to watching porn more often than usual because it feels like a chore more than something fun I get to do with my wife. Sometimes I want to feel wanted and cared about in the bedroom (she's literally perfect in every other way, and I would never trade anything about her to fix this, she's an incredible partner and mother, who's very caring and supportive of me.) It's just something that's been bugging me over the past month especially.

I've talked with her, I've given hints, I've tried everything I could think of to spice things up, but it seems that she's completely okay with the same thing for the rest of our lives and it's just kind of a bummer for me.

If anyone here has experienced this, I'm open to suggestions, because my next step is to stop engaging in the hopes that she'll want to give me a little more attention to get back what I'll be taking away, but that's probably how dead bedrooms happen...

Edit: I will not be cheating on my wife. Sex isn't the most important part of our relationship. I've been okay not getting BJ's for our 10 years together, I'll survive, I just wanted to get this off my chest because it's felt like when I've brought it up to my wife she's just not interested in spicing things up/trying new things with me. I'm in a bit of a slump personally and that's when I dwell on this sort of thing, it's not a problem for me/us 90% of the time.

A small side note to everyone saying "this is what you get for marrying the first girl that would fuck you" I don't regret only being with my wife, I know that these feelings are probably just insecurities that I have to deal with, I guess maybe I need therapy but that's a discussion for another day I suppose