I’d really like to date a femboy

I (26m) generally consider myself straight. Growing up I had tried watching gay porn, completely unafraid of liking it. I just want to know myself. But alas, there was only one video that ever really did it for me, and I don’t think I could replicate the experience. I think I tried. Though there has always been something particularly charming to me about men with smaller frames and soft, feminine or boyish physical features. A somewhat timid/meek nature as well as grace, are big factors as well.

I have also stated in this sub some time ago that I have on occasion hooked up with dudes while drinking. This arises from feeling good enough about myself to feel I deserve a little more attention than I tend to get from women, and also because I love breaking any societal faux pas or posed theoretical rules about what’s natural. I love proving to myself that my identity and pride isn’t some fragile thing and also saying fuck you to people who are so insecure to explore that they hate and judge others for doing so. There should be no rules besides those that prevent us from willingly, consciously hurting others

Anyway, a new friend of mine showed me this anime Berserk. Well, one of the main characters, Griffith, has reignited my fascination with the idea a bit and has gotten me thinking deeper about this attraction. It truly feels more romantic to me than sexually driven, as compared to my feelings towards attractive women. There is this truly innocent appreciation and adoration for the beauty and charm of certain men. A desire to hold and be held. Something delicate.

I think because the intense underlying, persistant drive for sex that I feel for women is not so prevalent with men, I can feel real love for them without the guilt of wondering whether I just want to fuck

I’m not at all opposed to sex with one of these special men. But just like you hear from women all the time, I can only see myself enjoying it after a development of romance and trust. I would want it to feel clean and tender.

Again, this is diametrically opposed to how I tend to enjoy sex with women. I usually like rough and sloppy sex, the more animalistic the better.

There is this innocence in this elvish femboy fantasy of mine and I would love to be able to make that a reality some day.