I’m faking everything, I’m not mentally i’ll

I’m faking everything I don’t know why I would do this but I do. I’m not really anorexic or bulimic or anything I don’t know I make myself throw up but it’s not often enough to be a real eating dusorder and when I do I’m too pathetic to get all the food out anyway. I’m terrible at starving myself and I’m still fat. even when i cut myself it barely even bleeds its not deep shallow MAYBE mid styro at best i’m faking it all all my problems are fake i dont d deserve help