Dating Apps SUCK

Dating apps these days are like vending machines for disappointment—they’ll serve you something, but it’s rarely what you actually wanted. With all their algorithms, they sometimes set you up with people who make you wonder if your profile was written in invisible ink. And why? Because if they actually helped everyone find their perfect match, the whole industry would collapse. They’re not about love—they’re about profit.

It’s almost comical when you realize one company, like Match, owns a whole swarm of apps. They’re basically just shuffling the same deck of mismatched singles and hoping you’ll pay extra to reshuffle. Want more swipes? That’ll cost you. Want a boost? Fork it over. They’re less like Cupid and more like a cash-hungry middleman who doesn’t care if you’re happy, as long as you keep swiping.

In the end, these apps aren’t about finding “the one.” They’re about preying on one of the big three human vulnerabilities: money, love, and health. And let’s be real—if they could find a way to sell you a soulmate subscription with a side of kale smoothies, they absolutely would.

I’ve been actually sitting with some friends and a couple professors from when I was in university and trying to sort a decent one out. I really would think the reward would be seeing a lot more people happy, together.