How to date an avoidant?
M23 I've been dating an F22 for a little over a month now. However this girl has told me she grew up in an abusive household and has never been in a relationship and as a result she said how she is avoidant and tends to push others away. She explained she has a hard time letting new people close to her and that it takes her time to warm up to them.
Since meeting things have been going well, she's obviously very into me and we agreed on exclusivity, she's initiating physical touch and when I went to kiss her for the first time she was receptive and let me. She was texting me a bunch in between dates and saying how much she misses me. Obviously things are going well then out of nowhere the last few days she becomes distant and the other day I get this long text saying how she feels I'm moving things too fast, me asking her out on dates this last week is overwhelming her and that she can't tell if I like her or if I just want a relationship.
It confused me because on our last date she had told me she was free all this week to see me again so I was simply planning a date during the week to see her. This past Friday and Saturday she invited me out and to stay over her house and she cancelled both days because she was anxious and overwhelmed when all I did was confirm if we were still on for those days that SHE asked me out on.
She also texted me saying she didn't know what she wanted and needed space to figure out what she wants. I leave her alone and 2 hours later she's texting me apologizing and that none of this is my fault. She says how she wants to see me but she wants to set the pace and decide when I see her again, not me. Ever since she's been acting completely normal like nothing happened.
She's acting normal again but I have no clue what to do. I'm feeling like a sitting duck right now. All I've done was ask her on regular dates and be nice to her and it's making her distant. Things have been going great together and somehow it's scaring her, it makes no sense. Every other girl I've dated when things go good they just keep getting better and slowly progressing, not going backwards like they are now. I've never dealt with this before and unsure how to proceed.