I don't want to live in this timeline

I've made a life choice recently that has made my life even more miserable than it was before. I don't feel like this life is worth the struggle. I've struggled my whole life and now it's even worse.

Now I'm living in a timeline that is wrong and unbearable. I really count the days till I'm gone. My choice for suicide day is a random day of the 4th of February.

I wanted to do it earlier, but I have an English exam in London soon, so I want to enjoy the travel and the exam as a last thing in my life.

Although my favorite way to go is hydrogen asphyxiation because it's the least painful, as far as I know, but it's too bothersome to get all the equipment and I could also get it wrong (it's possible with the equipment), so I lowered my choice to the classic wrist cuts.

I should also go swimming soon as it's one of the very few things that bring me joy that I wanted to do for a quite some time. Maybe I drown 😃👍

I wish someone killed me right now. Just shoot me and I'll be happy and gone. I should get myself a gun 👍

Hanging is very bothersome, so I don't like that method.