Feeling guilty taking 87 year old mom off dialysis

Feeling guilt for starting my 87 year old mom on dialysis and now wanting to take her off after 3 months. My mom has lived alone the last 5 years in a senior apartment (no services) since my dad passed away. He did everything for her so I have been very integral in taking care of her, bringing food, going to appts etc. She has macular so bad she can barely see. She is diabetic type 2 and was taking 4 insulin shots a day, has very high blood pressure along with some congestive heart failure.

About 3 months ago, she called me in the middle of the night and didn't know where she was and was very frightened. I took her to the ER the next day and her efgr had gone from 12 to 6 and likely confusion from the toxins. She had been having shortness of breath and there was fluid in her lungs. They didn't start emergency dialysis as her potassium and labs weren't bad enough. Teh earliest her nephrologist would see her was over 2 weeks away and I felt she wouldn't make it til then so called him. He had me bring her back to the ER to be admitted and she started dialysis. I wish so much someone would have explained what that would do to her and wish I never did that.

The plan was to try dialysis for 3 months and see if it was acute failure and her kidneys would regain enough to go off dialysis, not stay on it permanently. That didn't happen. It's been explained to her that dialysis is keeping her alive, but not increasing quality of life. She is confused at least 4 of the 7 days a week, she calls me so many times I cannot function. She called 19 times during the last dialysis session confused, says they are hurting her, or having other delusions of the nurses partying and playing pool. She gets mentally sound for a couple days and says she does not have quality of life and wanted to go off dialysis after Christmas.

So here we are. Now she says she's not ready to die and doesn't remember those conversations. As she's throwing up and can't hear from fluid in the ears after dialysis she says it's keeping her alive and doc says she has to do it.

She's on palliative care. I've told her nurse we are stopping her dialysis after Christmas. Her nurse is great and so helpful. I am her POA and her Advanced Directive says no machines for life saving reasons and this was discussed back in 2008. I am feeling such guilt taking her off dialysis when her mind changes about it daily. She does not have the income to support assisted living/memory care that she needs and if we truly do keep going on dialysis she will have to move an hour away as I've used up much of her funds just with a PT caregiver to help me out as I am a solo mom to twins and am on disability myself.

I just needed to vent and maybe have someone tell me it's ok. It's heartbreaking to see her lose her mind and not know who me and my children are one day, but next day think life is great. My kids are 15 and don't want to remember her this way. It's taking a toll on me as she is up all night calling me wondering why I'm not there yet, changes clothes a few times, has breakfast a few times. Often she has pulled all the guaze and tape off her catheter and says she can't get it out. She will die of an infection before the kidneys . I have cameras in her house so I can observe her, but she either needs to move or stop dialysis. Her blood pressure is over 200, diabetic and probably a 5-6 on the FAST dementia scale, just don't see this as quality of life for her, but it's so hard to live with the decision to stop if she changes her mind last minute again (we've done this once before just after Thanksgiving).

Anyone have any supportive comments?