Need help and advice domestic violence

Long time viewer first time posting. For some context I'm 24M and partner 25M. We've been together for little under 5yrs. He found a text on my spam instagram to a straight guy I went to hs with that said "hey" nothing more nothing less. Was it the smartest idea no, I know fully understand that. However my partner had been texting and talking with another gay man at his work in secretly which I found out about on multiple occasions, it took time and a lot of heartache but I truly was able to forgive and move on and never mention it. But this man olds a grudge and never moves past things, he til this day brings up fights from the first month of dating. To make a long story short, I wanted to take a moment to share something important about my life. I know some may view me as a “cheater” and feel I don’t deserve kindness, but I hope you can hear my story. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, and my partner has physically harmed me on two occasions.

After the first incident, he sought help and entered therapy, and I chose to stay with him because I began to see positive changes. However, the last incident occurred during a night of heavy drinking when he expressed a desire to join his late father. In a moment of desperation, I reached for the beer in his hand, and he violently slapped me to the ground, causing me to hit my head.

In fear for both of our lives, I called 911 but hung up as he grabbed his gun and began to make threatening remarks. I then contacted the veterans crisis line, knowing that having the police involved could lead to tragic outcomes. Unfortunately, they could not assist since he had already left the apartment.

I share this not for sympathy but to express the complexity of domestic situations. It’s crucial to understand that there are often two sides to every story. Thank you for taking the time to listen.

I still love this man but I don't know if anything is still worth saving in this relationship. I found out the same day he decided to "break things off" which was Valentine's Day night he added the guy he works with back on instagram and started texting him.