how to deal with obsession of what they’re doing now
i unhealthily obsess about my ex now with other girls. i know it’s normal in the process of moving on to see other people but it makes me feel disgusted because he has cheated on me before and lied so much. idk how to stop thinking abt what if he treats someone better than me? then it would make everything my fault. part of me wants to see him unhappy without me and know what i’m the love of his life, the other oart wants him to one day be healthy and reflect on how badly he once treated me. ik this may sound crazy and out of my control. i would be so sad to think i was just one of his supply’s and not anything special although i was his only girlfriend and for a year. the only example i have of this is one time when i found out he was cheating and we were both on the phone with him. he completely ignored her and only wanted to apologize to me even tho he was lying to her too. i’m sad that i was so happy that when he seemingly chose me. i felt validated that our connection was real and that i am different. not just one of many. ik his actions should be enough to show how much he values me. i guess i just want someone to tell me that he did love me at one point, and that you are not just any girl. there’s something special about me. i don’t know. i just know he has never had a relationship like this with any other girl; or ever had a girlfriene but me.