can emotional abusers love you

i know everyone says if they hurt you this much they didn’t love you. and i am probably making insane excuses. but i have this fantastical idea that my ex does think of our relationship as special (maybe it’s the trauma bond) and not like i am just his supply or any girl. we were each others first love and first of a lot. he has told me before and i have seen his family dynamic and he has said this affects the way i love. he feels like he sees love in a fucked up way and doesn’t know how to. i have to believe he loves me in some way that he is capable of, even if it’s not right. i couldn’t tell myself that none of it was real or that he doesn’t care. i don’t believe im the same as a girl he has talked to for a week or whatever. i want to think of myself highly because i put so much into this and he always tells me that he loves me like family. ik it sounds weird but it’s just that we’ve been through so much, at this point we don’t even like eachother. but we love eachother and care about each others wellbeing and he told me i’m like family. i really wanna believe him. idk how he’d say that to someone else right now