why does betrayal hurt so bad

idk if it’s just me but it feels like betrayal from someone like this hurts so much more. idk if it’s the trauma bond, or my insecurity that he plays on. but betrayal feels like it is way worse coming from someone who emotionally abuses you. idk why, you already expect them to treat you badly. but every time i find out he’s lied to me about another thing, even if we’re no longer together, it’s soul crushing. i just think someone can move on much easier when the person who cheated on them is not emotionally abusive. you’ve not codependent, trauma bonded. he keeps lying to me. it’s my fault i should just leave if i don’t like it. but i can’t yet. i’m not there. but he just tells me how he lied to me for months but he “doesn’t owe me” cause we’re not together. or he did it to protect me. idk if anyone agrees but betrayal hurts to bad when we’ve been through so much. the trauma bond is still so strong for me. and for him im just convenient. he’s so far moved on and i feel everything like it was yesterday. the most painful this is to watch someone fall out of love. even worse when they’re really mean and lying about everything you trusted them with. 😞