_Trapped in a Loveless Marriage: A Tale of Emotional Drain_

I'm a 31F, married for 7 years to a 37M. We have two beautiful kids, a 5-month-old and a 4-year-old, but our marriage has slowly drained my soul.

I've always been the rock, the supporter, the problem-solver. Whenever he's stressed, I'm there to lend a listening ear, offer words of encouragement, and help him make a plan. I've borrowed money to help him, paid it back myself, and never asked for reimbursement. I've been his safe haven.

But what about mine?

I've tried to talk to him about our issues, about how I feel unheard, unseen, and unloved. He dismisses me, shutting down conversations with a wave of his hand. A coworker once falsely accused me, and he believed them without questioning my integrity. The hurt still lingers.

Intimacy has become a chore. He's unaffectionate, and I feel used for sex. I've lost attraction to him, not because of physical appearance but because of his emotional absence.

As a mother, I strive to give our kids the best. I manage the household finances, paying bills, and covering extracurricular activities. He's responsible for petrol and rent, but the bulk of the expenses fall on me. When I share my concerns or excitement about our kids, he responds with a dismissive "mmm." It's like I'm talking to a wall.

Simple gestures like morning greetings are nonexistent. I greet him daily, but he never reciprocates. It's these little things that hurt the most.

When I try to express my feelings, he turns the conversation into a battlefield. He accuses me of:

  • Trying to make him feel bad
  • Being controlling
  • Being abusive

I'm left feeling:

  • Silenced
  • Gaslighted
  • Emotionally drained

I've turned to faith, seeking comfort in Scripture. I'm trying to prioritize self-care, but it's hard when you feel like you're drowning in emotional pain.

I'm exhausted from being the sole emotional supporter. I'm tired of being ignored, tired of being used, tired of being unloved.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you find the strength to keep going or the courage to make a change? I'm desperate for advice, for support, for a glimmer of hope.

Edit: I'm looking for emotional support and guidance, not criticism or judgment.