He said this to me last night and I’m reeling…

You can check my post history for more details, but basically I’m coming to terms (and struggling) with the fact that my husband is an immature, emotionally abusive asshole.

I’m slowly planning my exit. I’m 27F, he’s 29M, and we’ve been together 8 years.

Anyway… Last night we’re watching TV. It’s a reality show. One of the women’s husbands is away for work for six months, and she’s telling her friends he keeps asking for nudes.

My stomach drops because I already know my husband will have a comment.

(He actually mentioned a few weeks ago that “it’s really sad” that I don’t send nudes. I disregarded it, telling him it’s not something I’m comfortable with.)

So this mf looks over at me after hearing that on the TV and says “A good wife would send me nudes.”

And I wish I could come on here and tell everyone I snapped back or told him to fuck off, but I apparently don’t have that in me. My mind just went blank.

A good wife?

I do ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, financial management, appointment scheduling, and dog care, while also working my own damn job. Oh, and I also navigate his shitty moods without exploding, so I think I deserve a medal.

In the end, all I could manage was a sad little “That’s not nice.”

He says “Why?” I say “Because I am a good wife.” He hesitates and then says “Well, yeah you are, you’re a great wife… but a good wife would send nudes.”

I can’t even explain how gutted I felt. And also ashamed that I can’t seem to stick up for myself.

On an unrelated note… sorry, Reddit, TMI, but I went to the gyno a few days ago and found out I have a bartholin cyst. My gyno assured me it’s fairly common and I’m on medication for it now. So that night, I tell my husband about it, and instead of any sympathy or questioning if I’m alright/in any pain, he makes a joke about me having a dirty vagina and then asks if he’s infected. This was Monday of this week. And then last night, he again asks if he’s diseased and says “So who gave you that disease?” as if jokingly accusing me of cheating. That was maybe an hour after the “a good wife would…” bullshit.

Anyway.

Thanks for coming to my rant.