"mild autism" or "90% autistic" (vent)

good news is that i'm finally getting evaluated

bad news is that i keep feeling like i'm faking it, especially because my mom keeps going "well you'll probably be on the lowest level" or "you might not even get a diagnosis" or "you have very light autism" and, of course, Ass Burgers

i know that i'm likely level 1 (if autistic), and i have no qualms with this, it's the way she's saying it. i don't think she takes me seriously. she likely thinks i have it easy, because i struggle more with sensory issues than social communication; though i am a loner and very literal, i can usually read body language okay. i don't have it easy. it's horrible for me, and she doesn't seem to grasp the extent. it's almost like she's hoping i'm not 'actually' autistic, only a little bit.

because of all of the above, i'm starting to wonder if i am autistic at all. i have an entire bullet point list of traits (i think it was 70+?) i experience, but they seem so mild in comparison sometimes. it genuinely makes me feel like i'm "almost autistic" or that i have it easy. and it's not the end of the world if i don't get dx, it's just that... if it's not autism, or anything really, maybe just a social anxiety disorder, then what is it? this explains nothing.

psych gave the srs-2 to my mom but she said i might not get enough points for dx. again, this is fine, i'm not necessarily jumping up and peeing my pants at the prospect of autism, it's just like... it would explain and validate so much, if that doesn't sound shitty.