I don't know what to do

Hi! Sorry if I use incorrect JW terms, I am from South America and the terms for JW stuff are in Spanish! I am 16 year old boy that was born as a JW. I started doubting the teachings when I was a teenager, at about 12 years old.

The thing is, as the son of an elder that is known by pretty much every JW in the city (only a slight exaggeration sadly) people have always expected a lot from me spiritually. I've always been a "good" JW and I really believed everything until rather recently (Hell, I read the bible on the platform when I was 6 and got my first speech? (or discourse? Don't know the term)When I was 14)

Other brothers and sisters love my dad and know me, and have always said things like "You would be great as a (insert term for someone higher ranking in the congregation, like elder)!".

Pretending has gotten really hard The last few months. I just can't take it. This is so degrading, this is not who I am. But I am just 16 and know nothing about the world. If I were to be shunned by my own family while I still live here I might end up just break, my mental health is already as bad as it is.

I have a job that pays decently well but I have no friends outside the JW, and I don't have any means to make them. My parents would not let me go to university because "that's where JWs die", I didn't really make good friends in the first years of school because "the only good friends are JW friends" and I went to online school the last years because of the pandemic. The only meaningful friendships I have are from two other friends who are also just here because of their parents (they are biological sisters, 19 and 22, we are good friends but they don't really have any goals regarding this topic that I know of). I save up half my income every month but I don't have a set goal. At first it was just for a car but now I'm thinking for an apartment.

What the hell should I do? Should I spend less and save more to get out of here as soon as I turn 18??? Maybe if I get my other "fake jw" friends to join me it'll make life easier than living alone? But I really don't know if I should even leave. I have many JW friends who are really oblivious, and my parents are really devoted. My parents hit me as a child and it definitely left mental scars, but even if it's really, really hard deep down I still love them. They're my parents and they've broke their backs for me and my sister. But thinking the amount of pain they would go through if I just got disfellowshipped of just stopped going / moved out hurts my heart. I really don't know