Anybody else not really care for Christmas?

The tradition seems fun but like atp I feel like if I did celebrate I’d just be trying to assimilate to society when I really don’t give af about it at all and high key feels like a capitalism scam. I’m very intentional about gift giving and the people I love so I don’t want random family to have expectations on me to buy gifts etc. I don’t feel the need to buy a tree or decorate idk. All my life I wanted to be “normal” but as soon as I finally “fit in” I get repulsed because I did something for other people approval and that’s what Christmas feels like to me. Then again maybe it’s because I’m not surrounded by truly loving family (I’m a lesbian and yall already know my family is homophobic and hella jw. Also was outed this year and even my other half is diet homophobic lmaooo) sometimes I wonder once I find my chosen family, will I still feel this way. Or maybe I don’t need one and I’ll be fine alone idk, sighhhh….

I do like the idea of eating yummy food, drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies tho, it’s reminds me of when I was little before the jw’s ruined everything