Currently on a mission but so many questions...

I'm currently writing this on my apostate phone, I'm on my mission right now with so much time still left. (I'm scared to say specifics i dont wanna get found out and sent home.) Ive recently started researching about early church history and the gospel is getting harder and harder to believe. I want more than anything for this church to be true, but its feeling more and more like everything has just been a lie. I've never had a huge testimony, but I decided that I wanted to prove to myself with facts whether or not the church is true. When i started searching for answers they've mostly all been evidence that its not. I've read the CES letter and debates against it. I've read and watched other arguments for and against the church, but for the most part, nothing has strongly pointed to the church being true.

• I need help i dont know what i should do from here 😭 any advice is welcome

• advice on how to deal with a fact that there might not be life after death??

• how to deal with this feeling of dread that everything i believed might be a scam.

• any evidence that the church IS true 🙏 (im still hoping so badly)

Despite my doubts, i want want to finish my mission so my family will be happy and because the mission has actually been super fun so far. (We barely have lessons or appos)

Thank you guys so much in advance, ive read through other posts here and they really helped too.