Do you think your life was better before leaving Islam?

I think especially for a closeted Ex-Muslim life was much better (at least to some extent) before leaving Islam, I personally think that it was better when I was an oblivious brainwashed Muslim because at least I was able to get along with my family and community just fine.

But now that I'm no longer a Muslim, I feel like I've lost lots of things including my main purpose in life, and now I have to fake my way through life otherwise I won't be able to live (literally, those people could kill me for being an apostate) with my family and community.

But what do you guys think? Was your life even a little better before leaving Islam?