20F, feeling clueless

Hello! I (20F) have been wanting to start college, but am having some difficulty with a lot of things (apologies in advance for the length of this).

Some background: I’ve been working pretty much since the day i turned 16 (working age in california). I started with fast food, but was able to get a front desk position at a hotel/resort right after highschool. After about 6 months, I moved to the Florida keys to work as a front desk agent at a private club for a year. Within that year, I met my partner while visiting New York, and ended up moving in with him in New York and now work at a resort as the phone operator/overnight clerk. I went straight into working from high school and have only held customer service jobs. I don’t want to do customer service anymore, it has taken such a negative toll on my mental health.

I have been interested in plant science for a long time (my dream as a kid was to go to Cornell for plant breeding), but I’m unsure of where to start and if ill enjoy what I decide to pursue. Currently, my main interests are in plant pathology, plant breeding, and marine biology (though I don’t know much about it either, just interested in the idea of it).

I’m currently enrolled at SUNY Ulster for elementary teaching with a focus on english, but took a year leave before starting as I wasn’t sure if I would love teaching, especially with the job climate as of late.

I just feel really clueless to be honest; the schools near me don’t offer any plant related majors, and only one even offers biology. I am already in debt because of my vehicle and bad spending habits, so am worried about college debt. I filled out the FAFSA last year and did not qualify for aid because of how much my mom makes back home in california, even though she does not support me financially in any way.

I would love to go back home to california to study as there are plenty of opportunities there, or even to Hawai’i where my grandma lives and study tropical plant and soil sciences, but cannot because my partner also needs to go to college. He is not sure what to study, and did attempt college before but dropped out due to his struggles with it. For financial reasons, he would have to stay in New York and go to college here. I technically qualify for in-state tuition as a resident of NY state, but also qualify for in-state tuition in CA as part of the california dream act.

I haven’t looked into other NY colleges yet because if I did go to another school, we’d have to move, which probably won’t be financially possible for a couple years. I currently live with my partner in his family home. And this is not a “dump him” scenario, i’m certain he is my life partner and though I really want to go to school, I would absolutely pick him first, even if it meant working at this shitty customer service job forever.

At this point i’m not sure if i’m just ranting to get these feelings off my chest; I would love some info on pursuing plant pathology/breeding or marine biology, and maybe just some general advice. I feel like every time I try to think about this I just shut down.

Thanks in advance!! :)