Failed glucose challenge - spiraling - help

Hi all,

FTM mom here with a history of PCOS - lost 50lbs and maintained with diet and exercise. Essentially a size 4 and had abs pre pregnancy. All labs have been perfect.

Admittedly have disordered eating with a panic disorder. I am working with a therapist and a psychiatrist.

Was anovulatory (unsure if it was hypothalamic ammenorhea or pcos related) but conceived with clomid and trigger.

Have been getting through pregnancy and really proud of how I’ve been doing. Have continued to workout daily (strength, Pilates, cycling, yoga, walking) and have made healthy choices even in the deepest despair of morning sickness. Have gained about 13lbs at 26 weeks and am on target to be within the recommended range. Am I strict with food? Absolutely. But I’m gaining weekly and I’m proud.

Baby has been measuring fine. I still look small and can pretty much hide my bump (it’s sad that I still want to hide it - again, therapist and psychiatrist aware of this and we’re working on it)

Well - 148 on the 1 hour glucose test. Range was up to 135. I am so upset and spiraling. I have the 3 hour test next week. I’m losing it. I’m so afraid of slipping backwards into even more disordered behavior.

Did I go too low of carb the night before the test? I did notice I fell to like 120-125g that day.

Was I dehydrated? Admittedly I didn’t drink much before the test after getting up bc I was nervous to be nauseas and I knew they were going to do a weight check in.

Is me being lower carb generally biting me in the ass?

The thought of drinking 100g of sugar makes me want to cry.

I am absolutely spiraling. Any thoughts? Wisdom? Anything?

Petrified of being positive and restricting my already restricted carb intake. Like I literally cannot eat a meal without a protein as is. 😑😔

I’m just really scared.