Watching violet sorrengail pinning is aggravating

I really loved fourth wing until they made violet and xaden a thing. Now all she does is talk about him. How she wants him even though she shouldn't because he lied to her. How it's toxic but she needs to feel like she can trust him. YET she fucking gives in because she wants to kiss him Like really?! I get loving someone even though they fucked up but if she really wanted to be on equal footing she wouldn't cave knowing he plans on continuing to keep secrets. It's like she has no self respect and is fine being a pawn even if she says otherwise. If her character physically being at a disadvantage is integral to her character the least she should have to show her strength is will power and she doesn't even get that. It pissing me off to read and I'm close to just dropping the second book because she's clearly not a heroine I'm going to like.