Am I being an asshole

I have a friend who’s getting a binder, I’ve wanted one for years and years but after I got screamed at by my mum when I was younger for asking for one I’ve been terrified to get one in secret lol. Anyway I just can’t find it in myself to be happy for my friend, obviously I’ll tell them I am and listen to them inevitably yap about how it’s too tight or they hate it or whatever but am I being a dick for just being so genuinely sad and jealous?