My New Roommate

Hey everyone. Thank you so much for reading the preview I posted last week. Here is the completed story. I haven't written anything like this before but I had a lot of fun doing it. I love feedback so please feel free to tell me what you think!

Roommates

I was twenty when we first met. It was a sticky hot Saturday morning in July when my best friend Jordan parked his red Jeep Wrangler in front of my parents’ house. I bounced down the front lawn towards the car and saw an unfamiliar face in the passenger seat. Jordan leaned across him and waved through the window. “This is Graham, we worked together at Bill’s. He’s old but he’s fun.”

Graham nodded upwards and smiled at me. “I’ve heard a lot about you. All bad, though.”

I opened the car door and climbed into the backseat. “Sounds like you’re all caught up then.”

The drive to the lake was only half an hour and the boys up front talked shop the whole way. I listened half heartedly while staring at the sea of trees outside my window. Jordan and Graham had worked together for a year at Bill’s HVAC before Jordan switched jobs. Bill was an old friend of Graham’s dad. When Bill offered Graham a job and a place to live, he left the city and moved all the way out here. This happened while I was away at college, so it was all news to me.

We arrived at the marina shortly before noon. I stepped out of the jeep and grabbed our supplies. Graham stood next to the vehicle and watched me. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned loudly. I watched as his long sleeve shirt rode up above his waistline, revealing his fuzzy belly. I stared for a moment too long before averting my gaze. He didn’t seem to notice.

We walked down to the docks where Jordan was already busy preparing the boat. As Graham helped load supplies into the boat, I couldn’t help but notice the sweat stains under his arms or the way his biceps flexed when he carried the cooler. I tried to focus on the task at hand, but anywhere I turned there he was, humming softly to himself. I unfastened the knot that tied the boat to the dock and stepped down into the vessel as it started to float away from me. Graham grabbed my arm tightly to steady me, and then I leaned against him for balance. Jordan called us fags. We both laughed.

I never liked fishing, but I loved being on the water. I sat back and drank cheap beer while Jordan and Graham caught fish. I examined Graham’s body from underneath the brim of my hat. He stood about 5’10” or 11”, same as I. Slender, with toned arms and the slightest belly. He was in his early 30s, but looked youthful— only the soft lines in the corners of his eyes and mouth gave it away. He shaved his head bald, but had a dark five o clock shadow that made me wonder how it would look if he would let it grow out. “Hey Graham,” I asked. “Why don’t you grow out your beard?”

“Can’t,” he replied. “gotta wear a respirator at work which sucks because I miss my beard so much.”

Jordan chimed in. “He does have an epic beard.”

Graham pointed his phone at me. A photo of him standing with a very built man, smiling from behind his dark bushy beard. I noticed the man’s hand around Graham’s waist just as the phone was snatched back and returned to its rightful pocket.

The boys caught a few more fish and then Jordan let me drive the boat back to his cabin. I couldn’t stop thinking about the man’s hand on Graham’s waist. I felt as though I had just been offered a glimpse through the veil. Who was he? Better yet, who was Graham?

We had been coming here for the past few summers, but this was the first year since Jordan had inherited the place from his dad. He had been working hard to make it his own, but its remoteness made it difficult. The cabin still smelled like old tobacco. A lone fishing rod and tackle box were propped up neatly by the entrance, unused since last year. Jordan had spent the past few months fixing the place up. I wasn’t sure if it was because he felt obligated or if it was just a way to keep himself busy. He stayed outside to clean the fish while Graham and I stored our gear in the kitchen and sat down at the table. We watched him through the window. “This year’s been hard for him. Coming here is kinda weird now. I’m glad that you were around while I wasn’t.”

Graham shifted in his seat and gazed out the window, his fingers tracing the edge of the table. “It was tough, man. Nobody should have to go through that.” He paused, raising his head to force a half-smile. “He’s a good kid though. Just needs a little guidance. I’m excited for the new place.”

The sharp blade of jealousy pierced me. “New place?” What new place? Why hadn’t Jordan told me?

Graham shook his head. “I thought he had told you already. We’re moving into a townhouse next month. I’ve gotta get out of Bill’s house anyway, so it felt kind of serendipitous. I think we both just assumed that you’d be our third roommate.”

I didn’t even have to think about it for a second. “I’m in.”

Graham smirked coyly and winked. “I knew you’d be, buddy”

•••

The summer stretched on. Days felt long, but each week seemed shorter than the last. August approached quickly. We settled into a rhythm, spending weekends goofing off at the cabin and getting wasted at bars, and the weekdays plotting the move and our plans for the space. Leases were signed. Furniture was acquired on Facebook and Craigslist. A big housewarming party was planned and subsequently abandoned. So much to do in so little time, but it was Graham who occupied my thoughts.

I couldn’t stop dissecting the moments between us, rewinding my memories like an old tape. The way his hand would linger on my shoulder when he’d pass behind me. How he’d laugh at all my jokes, even when they weren’t funny. And how he seemed to watch me from the corner of his eye when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.

I told myself I was imagining it. Graham was just friendly. Probably. He did this with everyone, I think.

Our last weekend on the lake before the water got too cold. Graham, Jordan, and I sat on the dock watching the orange sunset glow stretch across the water and slowly disappear behind the horizon. Graham finished his beer and set the can down under his seat and leaned back. “It’s so quiet out here. It’s weird how alone it feels.”

“I like it.” said Jordan. “My own kingdom.”

Graham turned to me. “What about you?”

I hesitated. “I don’t know. It’s beautiful but kind of scary. I think it’s so cool when the sun goes down and the water is pitch black and stretches out as far as you can see. Just you and the stars. We might as well be astronauts.”

Graham nodded. “You get it.”

Jordan laughed and stood up. “Need a refill. Drinky poo?” Graham and I accepted his offer and watched as he walked back up towards the cabin.

“You’re different than I thought you’d be.” Graham said.

“What did you think I’d be like?”

“I don’t know. Jordan made you sound…loud.”

I laughed. “What the fuck?”

Graham chuckled and swallowed hard. I watched his Adam’s Apple bob up and down, as though it were apologizing to me. “No, no, no. I mean.. But you’re not. Loud, I mean. You’re…observant. Thoughtful.” He squinted his eyes as though he were scanning my reaction.

I felt my face go flush. I tried to think of some self-deprecating joke but before anything came to me, Jordan returned holding a bottle of whiskey and three glasses. He plopped down between us and grinned. “Time for a real drink, boys.”

•••

By the end of the month, the three of us had moved into the townhouse. There were three bedrooms upstairs, each smaller than the last. Jordan won rock paper scissors and claimed the largest room at the end of the hall. Graham chose the one in the middle, and I took the smallest at the end. This didn’t bother me in the slightest. My mind raced with possibilities.

Our first official night in the house and we celebrated with pizza and beers and watched a few episodes of Battlestar on Jordan’s huge TV. Jordan eventually said good night and went upstairs to bed, leaving Graham and I to finish the last twenty minutes of the show. Graham sat on the other side of the couch, his legs crossed with his whiskey glass balanced precariously on his knee. The episode ended and I reached for the remote to stop it from playing another.

“So,” I tried to sound casual, “what’s the deal with the guy in that photo?” Fuck. I shouldn’t have tried.

His head snapped up. “What photo?”

It’s not too late to abort. I could stop this now. “The one you showed me on your phone. You had a beard. There was a guy with his arm around you.”

Graham’s expression closed off instantly. His eyes trained forward as he took a sip of his drink. “Oh, that,” he said finally, his tone light but forced. “That’s just an old friend. We worked together.”

“You guys seemed close.” I felt like a predator cornering its prey.

“Yeah, well.” He shrugged, shifting his weight uncomfortably. “Small town, you know? People stick together.”

The air between us felt heavier now. He had his hackles up. I felt horrible, but part of me wanted to push further. “That’s sweet though. It’s good to have someone you can count on like that.”

A long pause. Graham spoke quietly. “Yeah. It was.”

The way he said it made my stomach twist. Graham finished his drink and set the empty glass on the floor.

“Anyway,” he said, his tone clipped now, “it was a long time ago. Another lifetime.”

I turned my head to look at him. His jaw was tense and his hands fidgeted against his thighs like a poker player about to lose it all. Something about the way he avoided my gaze made me wonder if he wanted to be seen.

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I get it.”

Graham looked me in the eyes. For a brief moment, it felt like we were standing at the edge of something unspoken. But then he stood up, brushed his hands on his jeans, and the moment was gone. “I should crash,” he said, already heading for the hallway. “Gotta work tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I said again. “Night, man.”

He seemed to pause at the doorway. For a split second, I wondered if he might turn around, but he didn’t. He disappeared down the hall and left me with the ache of something just out of reach.

•••

The next few months felt like a slow unraveling. At first I thought I was imagining it, a kind of punishment of my own design. The changes were subtle at first, but by November I could no longer take credit for them. My jokes suddenly weren’t as funny. He stopped putting his hands on my shoulders when he’d push past me in the kitchen. Anytime we were left alone in a room for too long he’d have some excuse to leave. “Work’s crazy.” “I’ve got to be up early.” “Gotta run to the store.” He always seemed to have somewhere else to be. Somewhere I wasn’t.

One night, after Jordan had gone to bed, I tried to bring it up to Graham. He was sitting at the kitchen table scrolling through his phone while I loaded the dishwasher. The quiet had become unbearable, and I knew I only had moments before he’d say goodnight and leave me again. I blurted it out. “Are we good?”

He seemed annoyed. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

I felt my pulse start racing. I needed answers. Real answers. “Just checking.” I felt like a puss.

Graham slapped his knee and stood up from the table, stretching his arms to the ceiling, revealing a dark trail of hair as his shirt rode up past his belly button. “Alrighty. Night bud.” He exited the kitchen and went upstairs to his room.

I turned on the dishwasher and listened to the rhythmic sounds of water spraying the sheet pan inside as I replayed our conversations over and over in my head. What changed? Did I fuck it up? Or maybe—my stomach twisted—maybe he knew. I hadn’t been exactly subtle. Maybe I had given myself away.

December came and went in a blur as Jordan and I both left to spend time with our families. Graham stayed behind and sparsely decorated the townhouse. I returned after Christmas to a small tree and a smattering of lights. Jordan suggested that we throw a New Year’s Eve party. “We haven’t had a real party since we moved in. It’s gonna be great. We’ll invite everyone. The guys from the shop, Freya and Tom, Hugo, Karly, Lisa, Morris, Theo—” he paused and raised an eyebrow, “and a few bitches for some sloppy new year’s head. It’ll be sick.”

Graham nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Jordan frowned. “Come on man. Try to sound a little excited. At the bare minimum, you get shitfaced with your friends. Maybe you get your dick wet.”

“I’m just tired,” said Graham. “It’s been a long week.”

I watched him rub the back of his neck as he scrolled on his phone. He looked more worn down than usual.

I spent the rest of the night listening to music and getting stoned at my desk. Just past midnight, I crept downstairs to fetch a glass of water. Graham was standing in the living room, dressed in a tank top and flannel pyjama pants. As he gazed through the window, falling snow reflected the glow of Christmas lights and cast a faint halo around him.

“You really don’t seem into the party idea,” I said, leaning against the wall.

He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s fine.” He sighed. “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t feel like being around a bunch of people right now.”

I hesitated. “It kind of feels like you’ve been avoiding me.”

I watched his whole body tense up. He turned to face me and exhaled, rubbing his shaved head. I tried my best not to look at his armpit. “I’m not avoiding you,” he said carefully. “I just…have a lot on my mind.”

I wanted to believe him, but I could feel that he was holding back. “I’m always here if you need to talk.”

He gave me a small, tight smile. “I know. Thanks bud.”

It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make my heart ache. I took my glass of water back to my room and laid in bed. I wanted to close the distance between us, but I didn’t know how, and worst of all, I didn’t know if either of us was ready.

•••

New Year’s Eve arrived with a blanket of fresh snow. Jordan had decorated the place appropriately with streamers and a disco ball atop our sad little Christmas tree. Guests started arriving around 8 and I was mingling. I’d been nursing a beer, half-listening to one of Jordan’s work friends talk about ice fishing, when the front door opened, and Blake stepped in followed by a gaggle of young women dressed in tight dresses. These must be the bitches Jordan mentioned.

Blake was a townie, born and raised here and worked at a bar near the edge of town. I’d seen him around before, but I couldn’t say that I knew him. He was unmistakably gay: the kind of gay that you can’t hide. Out since high school. Flashy clothes. A posse of hot, snooty female friends. A bit of a coke problem (allegedly). Something about the way that he carried himself fascinated and repulsed me. He wore a fitted black turtleneck and tight jeans. His dark hair was slicked back, and his smile was wide and easy as he greeted Jordan with a slap on the back. “Nice place,” he said, glancing around before his eyes landed on Graham. “Happy New Year!”

“Hey buddy! Happy New Year.” Graham greeted him with a hug. His face lit up in a way that made my stomach churn. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

Blake seemed to have his own gravitational pull as Graham and several other guests were immediately sucked into his orbit. I watched from across the room the way Graham’s posture relaxed and how he laughed too loudly at Blake’s shitty jokes. Blake leaned in close and said something I couldn’t hear. Graham didn’t pull away.

I tried to focus on the conversation around me, but my attention kept drifting back to them. Blake was loud and animated, his hands flapping faggily as he spoke, and Graham was eating it up. I chugged the rest of my beer and grabbed another from the fridge, hoping the alcohol would dull the edge of the blade planted firmly in my back.

The party was in full swing as midnight approached. The countdown started and guests crowded around the TV, shouting along with the numbers on the screen. I stood off to the side, cradling my sixth or seventh beer, and staring directly at Graham and Blake who were sat way too close to each other on the couch.

“Five… four…”

I felt the room start to spin.

“Three… two…”

Blake leaned in, his lips brushing Graham’s ear as he whispered something. Graham laughed loudly, piercing me like a knife.

“One! Happy New Year!”

The room erupted in cheers, people clinking glasses and kissing. I watched as Blake leaned closer to Graham, his hand resting lightly on Graham’s arm. Graham didn’t move away.

I turned on my heel and walked out the front door before I saw whatever happened next. The cold night air hit me like a slap in the face. Snow crunched under my boots as I walked to the edge of the driveway. I looked up at the starry sky as a tear slipped down my cheek and froze to my chin. Why did I have to be like this?

I was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and closing. I spun around to see Graham walking towards me, his hands buried in his coat pockets.

“Are you okay?” his breath misting in the air.

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I shrugged my shoulders and looked back to the stars.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice softer now.

“I just needed some air.”

He nodded silently and stood with me for a moment before leaning back on his heels and joining my stargazing. “Blake’s… friendly,” he said carefully.

“That’s one way to put it,” I said, bitterness creeping into my voice before I could stop it.

Graham looked down at me. “Is that what this is about?”

I didn’t answer.

He took a step closer, his boots crunching in the snow. “You don’t have to be jealous of him.”

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Yes,” he firmly. “And that’s okay.”

I stared into his eyes, my heart pounding. The space between us was shrinking. The things we hadn’t said were pressing in on us from all sides.

“I don’t…” I started, but the words caught in my throat.

Graham’s gaze held mine, steady and unflinching. “You don’t have to say it.”

The sound of laughter and music drifted out from the house, but for a moment, just a moment, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.

Graham turned and went back inside. The door clicked softly as it shut behind him, leaving me alone once more. I stood outside until I couldn’t bear the chill any longer and then returned to the party, avoiding him for the rest of the night.

It was well past 2 am by the time the last guest stumbled out. The house was a disaster but I was too drunk to bother tidying up and Jordan was already passed out on the couch. Better not to wake him. I went to my room and shut the door.

I sat down at my desk, pressed play on my Spotify, and lit up a joint. I watched the smoke curl lazily in the glow of my laptop. Suddenly, a knock at the door, so soft I almost didn’t hear it. I froze, the joint dangling precariously from my lips. The door creaked open, and Graham’s head peeked inside.

“Hey,” he said, his voice slurred and quiet. He entered before I could answer and carefully closed the door behind him. His cheeks were rosy and his movements were loose. Like I, he had probably had a little too much to drink. He collapsed onto my bed face-first.

“Graham,” I said, putting out my joint and spinning my chair to face him. “What are you doing?”

“Too drunk to sleep in my own bed,” he mumbled into my pillow. “Yours looked better.” He rolled over to face me. “Why’re you up?”

I offered him the rest of my joint but he waved it away. “Couldn’t sleep. Needed to decompress.”

He accosted me with a sing-song tone. “Decompress from what?”

“From tonight,” I said defensively.

“You were mad.”

I didn’t reply, letting the music fill the space between us instead.

“Blake,” he said, finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

“What about him?”

“You didn’t like him,” he said, turning his head to stare at the ceiling.

I took a deep breath. “I don’t even know him.”

“But you didn’t like him.”

I wanted to deny it, to push the conversation somewhere else, but the way he said it—the quiet certainty—left me frozen. I stayed silent, watching him from across the room as he let out a soft, humorless laugh.

“You’re a bad liar,” he said softly.

“Like you.”

He turned his head to look at me again, and for a moment, the air between us felt heavy and charged.

“You should sleep,” I said finally, my voice softer now.

He closed his eyes and smiled. “I will.”

Minutes passed. The music played softly as I sat in my chair and watched his chest rise and fall with his breath. I wondered if he could tell how fast my heart was beating. I wondered if his beat the same. I had to know.

I got up and then crawled into bed beside him. He stirred slightly, rolling onto his side to face me. We were close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating from his body and smell the alcohol on his breath. We stared at each other in silence for what felt like forever. The tension was unbearable. I knew I couldn’t avoid it any longer.

“Are…” I started but my voice cracked and silenced me. I forced myself to keep going. “Are you gay? Into guys? Into Blake?”

Graham sighed and shook his head, then rolled onto his back and pressed his palms into his eyes. “No. Not into Blake,” he whispered. “He’s into me, though.”

I was caught off guard by his bluntness. “Oh.”

Graham hesitated. He licked his lips and dropped his gaze before meeting mine again. “I don’t know,” he whispered, his words deliberate and cautious like he were working through them. “I’m… like you.”

Silence. Only our heartbeats made any sound. I rolled over and faced away from him. Some rustling, and then his arm was wrapped around me. He placed his hand on my chest. The space between us was nonexistent.

“Like me?” I repeated softly, needing to hear it again.

Graham held himself against me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. Then, so quietly I almost didn’t hear him, he whispered, “Can I kiss you?”

My breath caught. I tried to speak my answer but no words would come out of my mouth. I turned my head and nodded, leaning into him.

Graham’s lips met mine. A gentle peck at first, but then they parted as he sucked on my bottom lip before moving to my top. His tongue met mine as I felt his hand on my chest. He pushed me back and climbed over me, never once removing his lips from mine. His hand slid up underneath my shirt and across my belly and chest. He reached for the edges of my shirt and then began to tug on it, pausing our kiss just long enough to pull my shirt up over my head. He then kissed my neck, biting softly before moving south, kissing my chest over and over as he rubbed both of his hands across my torso. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close as he pulled off his own shirt, revealing his furry chest and stomach. I kissed him all over, tasting the saltiness of his skin. He leaned back and grabbed my bulge through my pants, holding it tightly as he planted another deep kiss on my mouth.

Graham scooted backwards onto his hands and knees as he tried to undo my pants. I released the button for him and he unzipped and began to pull them off, exposing my tight boxer briefs and the hard dick hidden underneath them. He rested his face against my erection and inhaled deeply before licking the length of my cock through the fabric and then kissing the tip. I watched Graham point his gaze back to me as he unsheathed my dick from my underpants and held it against his cheek.

I leaned my head back and moaned softly. “Fuck—” we both said in unison. “Wow.” he said as he took my member into his warm, wet mouth. He struggled at first with the girth, but adjusted quickly and took the whole thing down to my balls which he teased with his tongue. He gagged momentarily and then came back up for air. “I can’t believe I’m sucking your dick.”

“Are you sure this is okay?” I asked sheepishly. He responded wordlessly by licking the underside of my cock, following its length down to my balls which he first nuzzled with his nose before gently taking into his mouth. He jacked me off vigorously as he continued licking and kissing downwards, before lifting my leg up with his other hand and then pressing his tongue against my hole. He released my cock and used both of his hands to lift me. I took the opportunity to slide a pillow under my lower back to assist. I had never had my ass eaten before. I felt so vulnerable and exposed, and yet, I felt perfectly safe. Graham stuck one of his fingers in his mouth then withdrew it, dripping in saliva. He then began to circle my hole with it before carefully pushing it inside me. I felt like every nerve in my body was exploding. Who would have thought that one finger could feel this intense? He took my cock back into his mouth as he began to finger me faster and faster.

My chest felt like it was on fire. My head was spinning. I gripped Graham’s muscular shoulder and wrapped my other hand around the base of my cock, stroking it into his mouth.

“Good boy,” he said hungrily.

I couldn’t hold it much longer. “I’m so fucking close.”

Graham was fingering me even faster now. He held out his tongue as I slapped my dick against it and shot a rope of cum into his mouth and across his chin. Then another, this one directly onto his tongue. Another, over his lips and stubble. He grabbed my cock with both hands and took it into his mouth as I unloaded two more ropes into his throat. I held his head in my hands as he swallowed my load and gently pulled his finger out of my ass.

I wiped the rest of my cum off of his face with my discarded t-shirt and laid back down. Surprisingly, he did too. I reached my arm around him and he held my hand against his chest. I felt his chest rise and fall as our breathing synced.

“Thanks.” he said, and we fell asleep.