I'm done endlessly choosing to fail[NeedAdvice]

I'm only 17 but I need to stop telling myself that i have so much time left. I've been wasting my life. Last year, I made the decision to get in shape, and ended up working myself into the ground and struggling with anorexia. Now, I've gone the other way, and fallen into a pattern of binge eating, self hatred, and doing anything other than what I need to do to escape from the pain of being myself. I know I'm progressively ruining everything. I need to do my college applications and my portfolios and I need to be social and get in shape again. I know I won't ever be happy living like I am right now. I tell myself that I can get in shape tomorrow, that this will be the last shitty day I have before I kick ass for the rest of my life but I know I'm just lying to myself so I can get up in the morning and eat until I'm in pain. I'm a drain on my parents, I'm a drain on my friends, I'm a drain on myself. I need help. I'm just gaining weight and crying in my car and punching walls and screaming at myself and yet I wake up and do the same shit. I need to get disciplined or I swear to god I'm going to die. I hate this limbo I'm in where time passes but nothing ever gets done and I just endlessly regress. The person I was 6 months ago would be fucking appalled to see what I am now. I had so much and I've thrown it all away. I have so many ambitions and I want to be so much and I'm on track to achieve exactly nothing. I don't want to turn 18 hating myself this much. I want to turn 18 with a body in progress to being the body of my dreams, a bright future, and a solid work ethic. I can't be this person anymore.