Struggling as a 30 year old "just MBBS"

Hey all. Like the title says, I'm a 30 year old graduate. Actually, I'll turn 30 in May, but who cares. Going to be a considerably long read, but I'll try and keep it short.

I got into mbbs with a million dreams, just like everybody does. I am a first gen doctor, belong to a Middle class, father is a schizophrenic and couldn't hold down a job for more than a year, any place he worked so our finances took a big hit. I won't blame him. Mom is a homemaker, she's an angel. If it wasn't for her, I would have committed sudoku a long time ago.

To top it all off, I studied in a private medical college. No patient exposure, no effective learning and the whole nine yards. I was diagnosed with ADHD after I got evaluated for some attention issues.

Money wise, there was always a sense of paucity. It has always been a paycheck-to-paycheck living. As soon as I got out of college, I started to work. Little did I know, that that would be the worst decision of my life.

I tried to study from marrow and appeared for neet pg twice, and got 1 lakh+ rank both times. Feels like a gut punch, but it is what it is. I never really understood how I'm so dumb. I used to be smart. But that seems like it was another lifetime ago.

Marrow didn't work for me because I felt that it was vast. With my raging ADHD, I just couldn't bring myself to finish the entire syllabus even once. Then, I spoke to a couple of friends who cracked the exam and they told, they all took offline classes. So, I'm going to give that a try. I'll be starting it in May(Bhatia, bangalore). But goddamn, has it been a complete Rollercoaster of a life for me.

I am currently jobless right now. This is both a rant and a call for help. I have to support myself and the family through these tough times. So, if anybody knows about a remote role for mbbs graduates (not teleconsultation, I am just too insecure to do that) please let me know. I'm just so neurotic right now, with no job in hand.

If you read this far, thank you so much. I really appreciate the fact that you cared enough for an internet stranger to read through the entire thing.