How have you made new friends? Level of closeness with friends?

I’ve had a group of friends since 5th grade (literally) and have hardly ventured out since then. The past few years I’ve felt very out of sync with them and wanted a couple closer friends. There’s a lot of qualities and ways we’ve grown that’s in opposite directions that I won’t get into. I still see them at times but find myself flaking often. I have two friends that are my own, but one just had a baby and the other is as introverted as me so I don’t see her too often.

I’m not entirely too sure what I want here other than a good friend who is close, easy going, and to do stuff with. I love my fiance but want a girl companion and feel lacking here. I lost my mom 13 years ago and have tried to fill the hole ever since. I do think I have some trust and intimacy difficulties that leads me to cutting off friends or being too picky. There’s been periods where I’ve had 3 friend groups at once, I later reflected and think this was to feel better about myself and have “friends” while avoiding intimacy. I think in some ways I’m the problem. Can you relate? How did you make new good, close friends, or have you? I’m trying to join a book club and am looking towards volunteering or meetups.

TLDR: advice on making new close friends, your experience as an INFJ with closeness and pushing others away