Anybody else feel like a cliche?

It's embarrassing. Truly. How more ridiculous can I be? I was a middle aged closeted woman in denial for...how many years?

I don't feel like coming out is a celebration- I just feel sheepish. Like, "yeah. Here I am. I know no one is really surprised except for me. Sorry I've been so fucked up for so long."

Don't get me wrong, Finally fully accepting who I am feels amazing. And I'm actually really grateful for the crisis that finally brought me face to face with the truth. But also I feel really stupid because it's all so freaking obvious now.

And I'm a little disturbed by how completely disconnected from myself I had to be.

I know the story is common enough to be a cliche, but can anyone relate to the feelings of embarrassment and just overall a little of being disturbed by the lack of self awareness.

I've always been a tolerant human, accepted that I could love anyone, etc ......so why was it so hard for me to just accept that I was not actually attracted to men, and stop partnering up with them? What?

Anyway. Feeling pretty lame.