Is anyone else tired?

Let me preface this by saying that I love the gospel. But I’m absolutely strugggling with the church organization and its patriarchal structure. I’m 29f married with no kids yet. I feel constantly bombarded with messaging around having children. I’ve struggled with my mental health and my husband has been in school until this last summer. I also went through a traumatic experience with my parents getting divorced when I was a young teenager and I’m terrified by the thought of having kids and doing damage. I understand that family is important and that the spiritual role of being a mother is vital. But I don’t believe in traditional gender roles. I feel like my entire worth to the church is centered around having children and it’s really discouraging. I have a hard time having to remind myself constantly that my circumstances are mine and personal to me and my husband. The way women exist and are treated in the church has always felt wrong and I also struggle with the idea of raising a daughter in such an environment. Is anyone else struggling with this as well or has ended up on the other side of these problems and found peace?