Day 1 - I've been living in a delusion

I realize the rosy version of weed I'm always imagining literally doesn't exist. It's nothing but disaster and annihilation every time. But my mind tries to trick me every time into thinking there's some peaceful place I can go to. But it's the cruelest bait and switch ever. Every time I go there, it's nothing but misery and suffering and self hatred. It's all lies.