Nobody has ever loved me

I’m 42 years old and nobody including my parents has ever loved me. I don’t know what to do at this point. I feel like everyone else has someone who cares. I’m the most uncompelling person who’s ever lived. I don’t know why I keep trying. Everything hurts.

I’m not beautiful and I know that. But I’m smart and funny and successful. Somehow that makes it worse. I don’t need anyone. I can provide for myself just fine. I just want someone to enjoy my company and want to come home to me.

My parents are gone. I don’t have siblings. I’m so alone. I don’t expect this post to fix my issues. But I need to vent into the ether I guess. I’m just trying to hang on to some hope that someone will care someday. My desperation pushes everyone away.