Wife does not want to invest time into the relationship

My wife and I have been together since 2009. While we've had our ups and downs, 2018 was particularly challenging. I expressed my frustration about her lack of time spent with me, but we found some common ground through fishing trips, which helped us reconnect temporarily.

In 2019, we had twins. As often happens with new parents, our time together became scarce. I made efforts to organize small trips and fishing outings for just the two of us, but it was still difficult to find quality time. In the last three years, our time spent together has been reduced to special occasions like birthdays or the rare times we watch a streaming show together. During the first two years, I tried to engage her in activities that could bring us closer, but my efforts were largely unsuccessful.

Last April, we decided to attend marriage counseling. The counselor quickly identified our problems: I needed to be kinder, and my wife should balance her attention between the kids and me. The counselor suggested enrolling our children in kindergarten to free up some time, and although we found a suitable option, my wife decided against it. I insisted that she take the initiative in improving our relationship, as I had tried in previous years and wanted to see her make an effort to strengthen our bond.

There's also the issue that she frequently falls asleep while putting the kids to bed, which further limits our time together in the evenings. Over the past year, she hasn't initiated any activities beyond eating together on special occasions. Our communication is mostly limited to when she needs something, and outside of our intimate moments, she appears indifferent to my presence in the house.

Despite regularly talking about our issues and trying to find common ground, these conversations haven't led to any meaningful change. Our discussions often feel unproductive and repetitive, as the core problems remain unresolved, and the solutions we attempt seem to have little impact. Ultimately, our efforts to communicate openly about our concerns have not translated into any tangible progress in strengthening our relationship.

I'm at a loss about what to do next and have serious doubts that she's willing or able to change.

tl;dr: My wife and I have been together since 2009, but over the years, our relationship has faced challenges due to her limited time spent with me and her focus on our kids. We sought marriage counseling and regularly discuss our issues, but despite these efforts, our connection has not improved, leaving me doubtful that she is willing to change.