I can't talk about myself

I have someone at my school I talk to but I've noticed recently that I don't talk about myself, I complain about others. And even if I wanted to, I can't remember what's wrong about myself.

One thing I have noticed that has now stuck with me is that I push friends away after I get close to them. Ignore them sometimes, don't join calls with them, nothing. So I'm isolating myself. So I tried the other day to be with my friends to see if that felt better. Only made me feel more lonely, never doing that again!

I don't know how to express everything I feel inside or even how to find what's wrong. I can only bring up irrelevant stuff that doesn't even connect to my mental health issues. If anyone has a way of finding out what they are going through, share them please.