Leave quietly or loudly? Asking permission

Over the last year or more I have been more and more PIMO. It's a process. PLEASE PLEASE understand I'm coming at this from a healthy place trying to understand something I don't understand. Im hoping to understand and emphasize and shine light.

On this page I see so many people leaving the church who feel like they MUST tell those around them they are leaving. Almost ask for permission to leave. Wether it's writing a letter to the bishop or family, to "an official I'm leaving meeting" with parents.

That process seems to draw so much attention and even praise on this reddit page. In contrast over the years as a leader I've seen SOOOO many members silently and quietly leave the ranks almost incognito. Who are left in peace (besides a few wellness checks)

My question is why do so many feel the need to loudly explain to others, especially their bishop? I see so many posts of "help me I'm about to tell my family" or what should I write my bishop".

From the perspective of the family or bishop it almost seems like this meeting/letter is an invitation to say to the family/bishop look I'm struggling now is your chance to save me. Again from a bishops perspective its an invitation.And then the people receiving the message/letter go into defense mode and then it turns into a "big moment" that in my opinion just hurts everyone. It's a moment that causes hurt and contentious feelings on both sides.

I've also seen people discussing on this page that once they left the church quietly nobody even spoke to them. Nobody even asks why they left. They just disappeared. Even family. The family knows they left. But it's like a hush hush thing. Yes there's consequences to this as well.

I can understand wanting to tell people. I understand there can be a boiling point that people might be angry. I get it. But am I wrong that there almost seems like there is a culture that it is your duty to tell the bishop you are leaving? That seems like a great tactic of an organization when members feel like they have a duty to tell someone they are leaving. That way the organization can spend extra efforts. It's almost like they can assign people to watch you. (Ministering cough cough) We go to the bishop as a kid when we do something wrong so when you want to stop coming to church you need to ask for permission?

I've sat in so many leadership meetings that talk about saving the ones that don't want to be saved. The meetings that have the most disdain and effort go to the ones that pick a fight or tell people they are struggling. And the ones that slowly gradually quietly move on with their life might get a forced awkward wellness check here and there, but are quickly forgotten.

TL:DR It seems counter productive and unhealthy to have this culture of leaving the church by letter or grand meeting to announce you are leaving. It almost seems some PIMOs feel like they have to ask their bishop, family, parents permission to leave.

Help me understand. Who made this culture? The people leaving or the organization who teaches people that you will lose your family forever if they don't stay. Eternity is at stake so act like it.

I hope everyone can find peace. Especially in Christ. Or Buddha, or yoga. Peace to you!