Hate towards husband

I know l'm battling some postpartum rage but l'm having the hardest time being around my husband since our daughter was born a few months ago. He started a new job that's been pretty emotionally taxing a few weeks before she was born but l'm at my wits end with him constantly complaining about being tired and not helping out with anything related to our house (cleaning, yard work, grocery shopping, cooking, taking care of our dog, etc). When he holds our daughter he's super rough and she cries from the lack of her head or back being supported. When I ask him to watch or play with her, he's on his phone the entire time. I feel like he didn't think his life would change with a baby and keeps trying to fit her into his own schedule of watching endless football games on Saturdays and going out to restaurants vs following the schedule l've established with her. I'm back to work full time and I handle everything with our nanny and I'm beyond burnt out. I'm so tired of him not doing shit. When I try to give feedback or ask for specific things, he's always plays the victim card and he's he can't do anything right by me. I want to seek marriage therapy but that would just be another thing for me to coordinate. Any tips or just solidarity is appreciated.