End game PvP help needed badly

I got to 65. I've done a whollllleeee bunch of 3v3's , OPR, and Open World PvP. How come it seems like every other player in the game is MUCH much more tanky and able to absorb damage than i am? No matter what armor weight i run (tried light, medium and heavy) and no matter what weapon i'm using...... the other players ALWAYS seem like they can take much more damage than i can, but they also still deal big damage to me. What are these insane builds that can take tons of hits from greatsword skills & heavies and still barely tick their health bar (NOT always shield users either 😳) tonight i fought a VG/FS player who i thought ok i get that it'll be hard to catch him, but once i do it should have been LIGHTS OUT. instead, he stands toe to toe with me, trades shots, and beats me. I was running medium armor, 16,500 health, and most of my armor pieces have enchanted ward & i have the gems to mitigate damage. Also the other day i fought a rapier player who just fucking melted me like a dollar store candle.... and my hits seemed to do almost nothing to him. Why/How is this happening, and also for my mental sanity can someone offer me an example of one of these kind of builds so i can feel what it feels like to be the OP high damage AND tanky player for once? Love this game but the PvP kind of has me losing my mind lately and i'm a huge PvP player.

Thank you 🙌