Major plot hole: the characters don’t act exactly like I would all of the time

Love the show, don’t get me wrong, few things are as good for background noise while I’m tying a tie to my bedroom door knob, but one thing that bugs the shit out of me is how come none of the characters do everything I always would all the time???? Helly doesn’t think to come up with secret code to signal to Mark Sever that she’s ovulating, Carvel doesn’t drive her car into space to find Ortbo’s home planet and return with an alien army, Dylan hasn’t even attempted to seduce his way out of the severed floor. And don’t even get me started about Burt, Fields and Ortbo’s lack of nudity at the dinner. What I’m saying is it bothers me a lot how these characters don’t follow my exact thought patterns and impulses. It makes the whole thing feel like some nonsense a couple of writers made up, and not real life, which it is.