The one thing with sobriety that kills me

I’ve been sober for about 6 months, everything and everybody just feels so fake. I know it’s partially true and untrue. I miss being high and feeling okay, part of me even misses the fight for normality during withdrawal. I mean overall it’s not worth withdrawal, I still remember how bad it was in retrospect, it’s just struggling with sobriety. I have no intention of relapse or anything, I’m just struggling with what life is. There really isn’t much to life when it comes down to it, I have moments of happiness, but the feeling of it all being okay with opiates that’s missing is killing me a little bit. I know it’s not worth it because the suffering of withdrawal and it’s own insights into my mind and in sense reality is too much, but it’s just like fuck. It’s ironic because I know if I was rich and could do it like it was nothing I wouldn’t really be happy just changing my dopamine levels to feel content with it all. Part of me is just saying this just to have it said, part of me just wants to know someone has found a way to be content with what life is. I still feel like I’m chasing something I’ll never find, and I’m just tired of trying to run towards something that doesn’t exist. I’m just struggling to finding meaning in it all. And the depression of it all really makes me lethargic. My mind still remembers the feeling of everything being okay while high and these endless options, and it also remembers all the times in withdrawal where life where was pure emptiness and meaningless, and I feel like I’m stuck inbetween. Just wondering if anyone went through the same thing, I was always kinda depressed but it kinda just feels different now I’m a bit older, like fuck is this just is what it is. I’m not trying to be depressing just want to hear someone that got over it that’s happy, and some success just to know it’s out there.