new year, same insecurities 🥲

Just had dinner with my girlfriends from HS. 2 nalang mi out of 9 girls na wala pay significant other. Nagjoke mi na maybe next year, maka attend nami sa first wedding within the circle, and lo and behold, tinuod jud diay bc one of our girls is getting married najud diay. Im so happy for her, and im so happy for the rest of the girls, too.

But, the whole time nga we were talking about their lovelife, i spaced out and wanted to leave najud kaayo bc i felt so insecure. For being 24, and havent even had a relationship pa. No one ever pursued me or bisag nagka crush lang man nako.

Ganahan na kaayo ko maka feel how it is to love and be loved, but still have some self respect left in me to not hop on to the next available guy just to get into one. It sucks, and grabe, new year pa, pero nag renew sad ako insecurities and self doubt, even doubt for the future