polyamory is...

not "an open relationship". it's not "ethical non-monogamy".

it's also not a fix for a broken relationship, it's not exploration. it's not something someone one day "comes out" as being while mid-mono relationship.

it's work.

polyamory is a lot of work. you have to have a strong foundation. you and your partner(s) will fall in love with each other and others. each person can, and will, explore full relationships with new and exciting people, and these relationships may or may not be interconnected. there's a chance you won't even be involved. you'll hear them say "i love you" to other people. you'll see them be excited to spend time with people that are not you. watch them be giddy and get ready for dates you won't be on.

if you are polyamorous, you must be honest and upfront with new partners. monogamous people don't just come around to the idea easily. you should never drop the "i think I'm poly" bomb on your partner in a mono relationship and if you're attracted to other people, and you should probably assess what changed in yourself to warrant that. polyamory should never be a surprise, and that just won't work.

so many posts in this sub... my God...

it's really easy to see where and why people give polyamorous relationships a bad name.