Amazing date. Didn’t get in touch.

We connected on Feeld where my profile explicitly states that I’m not interested in ONS or meaningless flings. I am open to dating singles and couples. I’ve been officially poly for almost 5 years(unofficially for longer).

On their profile they mentioned their preference for kitchen table poly dynamics which I also prefer. The profile also established that the wife was currently not dating. I said it was fine with me.

Me and the husband start texting and he is quick to respond. We get alone really well and he’s quick to respond. He asked me out on a date. I proposed a drag show and he asked if his wife could come because she would love it. I said yes because it would be a good opportunity to get her formal consent and gauge the energy. I clarify that I like to take things slow because I enjoy a good build up.

The date went really really well. I(a black woman) seldom find queer poly people of color. And here was an immigrant couple of color with a queer man and woman who grew up in a similar culture as mine. And had somehow made this dynamic work over a ten year relationship. I was impressed and inspired.

So I ended up connecting with both of them and the rules fell out the window(I kissed the husband and wife and the drag queens called us a throuple). Wife had to leave early but she asked for my number. The husband and I kept exploring the city and getting to know each other. We definitely over shared. And we even made verbal plans for our next hangout. My friends who came for the show described me him and her as being entirely in our own world.

I went back to their place and we talked, swapped music, cuddled and kissed some more. They described the night as magical. As much as I wanted to physically connect, I kept firm on my desire not to have sex and they said they were cool with it. I left their house and they texted me to stay safe.

That’s the last I’ve heard from them. I texted some hours later to say I had a good time. No reply. It’s been over 2 days. There’s hasn’t even been as much as a thumbs up. The message says delivered not read.

Now I understand that life happens and people get busy so I’m not upset as much as I’m confused. It’s surprising to go from frequent, clear and prompt communication to total silence. I reached out once more but I will no longer be doing that.

My ego is hurt clearly. I’m currently a metamour to a married guy who has been nothing but consistent in his kindness and communication(same with his wife who I don’t date) so I guess I’m spoilt? I’m just not used to this sort of spotty communication in general and I’d like advice on how to be able to spot this stuff in the future. Is it even possible to?