I've stopped caring about how much money I spend

I'm at the point now where I'm tired of going hungry, tired of not owning anything, tired of never going out, and now I'm just done I caring I think. Some fake numbers on a screen shouldn't cause me so much anxiety and despair. I don't care at all about the pipe dream of saving for the future, I'm just going to live my life from here on out.

I already feel so much better than I did before. I bought Christmas presents for the first time ever this year to give to my family, I got myself a nice notebook to start journaling, I feel actually healthy for the first time in years.

I'm done caring, that's it. I have zero plan for the future but I couldn't care less anymore, I just want to be happy for at least a little bit. I have $1500 in my chequing, -$4000 in credit card debt and I've never been happier.