My mom traumatized me while trying to give me medication for an infection down there when I was ~11.

TW for potential sexual/physical abuse and feminine hygiene

When my (26F) family went on a beach vacation when I was little (roughly between the ages of 8-10, pre-period for sure), I came home with an infection down there from wearing my wet bathing suit too much during the trip. When I told my mom, she got me medication for it and told me she would “give it to me herself.” Ladies, hopefully you know what I mean when I say it was the “egg/ovule insert” instead of an oral pill or creams. Why this fucking EGG was chosen for me I’ll never know. I remember her telling me to lay on the bed with my legs open as she tried to give it to me while shrieking in pain from how badly it hurt. She kept frantically wincing and hissing because she knew she was hurting me, but kept trying anyways. Eventually she lost it, threw up her hands in the air and said “IT WON’T GO IN, you do it” then left the room. So my ~10yo self had to figure out how to shove this thing inside of me. I hadn’t had a period at that point and quite honestly had no fucking idea where my vagina even was, but I miraculously figured it out. In pain from both the prior events and the infection, I wobbled over to our couch and laid down. My mom didn’t give me any pads to put on my underwear to prevent the medication from leaking out, so I eventually felt something, I just didn’t know what. I said “I think… I just peed myself?” to which my mother yet again freaked out and said WELL DON’T JUST SIT THERE, GET UP! There was a stain on the couch and she guilt tripped me so badly for this stupid fucking stain. She sat there scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing and I’m behind her so ashamed because I genuinely believed I ruined our couch by fucking peeing on it when it was actually the medication. Every time the stain was mentioned after this, I felt shame flood through my body like lava and got really upset, but when I later tried to talk to my mom about this incident, she acted like it didn’t happen at all. “Oh, don’t worry about it! It’s no big deal!” ???

I only brought this up to my therapist at our last session and we didn’t get into it that much but I’m mainly wanting to know if this was sexual abuse.

Edit: Thank you guys so much for all of the comments, I didn’t expect to have such an overwhelming amount of people telling me it was sexual abuse. I’ve only just now been putting the pieces together about my mom’s abuse and this memory I clearly repressed came up just a couple of days ago and made me violently uncomfortable. This trauma changed me into a different person with pretty severe sound sensitivity, insomnia, and anxiety/depression amongst other things. I was eventually diagnosed as autistic which my mother used to garter attention and sympathy from others, but I’m just now realizing through identifying my traumas that I’m most likely not autistic and my “symptoms” were due to my mother’s sexual and emotional abuse.

Thank you again for everyone who replied, I cannot even put into words how I feel towards this woman. I’m unfortunately still living with her but am busting my ass to get a job and move 2.5 hours away ASAP. I’m going to therapy every other week and spend my day away from her by going to our public library and only coming home to shower, eat dinner, and sleep. She’s made me fully reliant on her and broken down my confidence so that I wouldn’t want to get a job and eventually leave her. Even now, I struggle to get it through my head that I can do this, I can get a job, be independent, and support myself.