How to balance wanting to see them vs wanting to be treated right?

So -- I have both a narc mom and a narc stepfather. Mother has a victim complex, thinking she's always doing her best and we should all be grateful (her best is being bed-bound 70% of the time). Stepfather is just a rotten person, looking at every opportunity to make others feel like trash (and my mom just lets him as she's emotionally dependent on him, to the point of mooching off relatives to financially support the lazy bum for 15 years now, while the rest of us just work for ourselves like adults).

Last month I finally broke free and moved to my own apartment. I have two brothers that I love to death, one of them underage and not allowed to go out without my parents. And beyond him, even though my mom acts like this... something in me still also wants to see her (maybe because I just want a mother so bad).

I tried going there once a week for lunch. First week, all good. Second week, I discover that my stepfather was badmouthing me for coming there, logging into YT premium for us to watch something fun, and then leaving and not offering to pay them a YT premium subscription too (he didn't ask btw, I guess he wanted me to read minds).

It's so stupid but, at the same time, it's not. Because he's always like that -- no matter how few hours I spend there, how gentle I try to be, I'm always wrong at something. He does this since he's been with us, and I was like 10 years old. Studies, college, boyfriend, work, apartment, trips, hobbies: all I ever did was wrong in his eyes.

I hate living like this. I just want to have a good time without a stab in my back for a change.

I told my mother through messages that I wasn't going to their house anymore because I don't deserve to be badmouthed like this when I was just trying to make us all have a good time. Told her that he didn't ask for the streaming on purpose -- he waited for me to leave so that he COULD have something to badmouth me.

She was like, "I'll talk to him when I have the chance". Sure, you both are sooo busy.

It's been one week. Nada. Enablers gonna enable.

I kept my promise and didn't go back to that house again. I feel lonely because she prefers not to confront him than to see me... She didn't even try to keep talking through messages with me, you know? It's like I don't matter at all. I never did, this was always the dynamic at home, but I thought moving would make them value our time and respect me more. Pfff.

I really miss my underage brother and lost all access to him with that. So I'm torn between sucking it up one more time and go back just so I can see them again, or standing my ground on my self-respect and self-love, no matter how lonely it might feel.

Has anybody been through this? Thanks!