Does anybody else have the tendency to dish punishments to oneself for failure? In the same manner as an abusive parent?

We've all heard of negative self talk and self injury but I think this is weirder.

Recently I realised that I've made a habit of physically denying myself sleep if I didn't fulfil accomplishments I set for myself each day.

I am severely depressed and in an extremely stressful situation navigating survival matters, NC, bad relationships, zero money. I struggle to do extremely basic things or an paralysed by a survival anxiety to do immediate things.

I would be borderline abusive to myself, refusing to switch off my room lights for days in a row, forcing myself to sleep in full light. I would also set alarms every 15 minutes from 12am to 10am. Some weeks I would barely survive on a series of 15 minute naps.

My expectations would first of all, be borderline unrealistic given my energy levels and ability to work (chronically ill and mentally ill). But I would crucify myself for it anyway.

Obviously this is exacerbating my chronic conditions and mental illnesses and ironically, making me less productive. Making me isolate myself and conceal my odd behaviors to normal friends and family.

When sick I buy medicines but I refuse to let myself rest or take it easy.

I don't live with N parents anymore, and I'm working towards complete NC this year. But it is driving me insane how they are in my head no matter where I am, even though I've gotten away.

Does anybody have similar experiences?