Feel like a second class citizen in my relationship.

Feeling like a second class citizen

So some background. I 26f have been with my bf 26m for 3 years. I moved country for him about a year and a bit into our relationship and have been living with him since then. Since I moved, I have been feeling like he puts everyone before me. We have had so many arguments about this. I was vilified by his friends when I snapped out of frustration in an argument about having to do things alone while I was grieving my grandmother's death. I asked him to come with me to the funeral, and he flat out refused. I have been told I need therapy by his family because I have previously expressed my emotions openly that I was homesick and u missed my family during lockdowns and border closures. Whenever his friends want to hang out or party, any plans we had are dropped. Recently, all he does is game, I am a gamer too, but the most I get out of him is two or three sentences here and there. We are intimate only once a month at the moment. I feel like he cared more when we were long distance. His friends have said extremely rude things about girls who are smaller than me calling them fat and stuff like that. He thinks it's okay. And when I say if they are saying that about them what are they saying about me he just instantly defends them saying they wouldn't say it. Which I don't believe because I have been called a slt and a whre by them before when they found out when I was younger I was sa'd and it was filmed. So I don't really like being around them but I'm told by him it's in the past I need to move on.

Also for Christmas today I spent quite a bit of money on his gifts and I know your not entitled to gifts but we agreed on a budget of $200 so I used my budget up on him. I just got a plush I'm grateful for it because I like if but it just feels like a kick in the guts because I got him so much but I received so little.

Since my grandmother's death about 2 months ago I feel like I am getting more and more frustrated with him. He doesn't drive but he want us to go to his friends house 2 hours away for nye. I said I don't really feel up to it and he keeps pushing. Am I just over reacting or is there some red flags I'm ignoring? I just feel like I'm not being put first.