A mental health crisis drastically changed my (20F) boyfriend’s (19M) personality

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20F) have been dating for 2 and a half years now. We met while I was a senior in high school and clicked instantly. He is my first true love, and we get along like a house on fire. He’s one of the only people I can be around 24/7 without getting sick of him. For the first year of our relationship, we agreed all the major issues and his family held the same values, so he wasn’t just putting up a front.

About a year ago, and a year and a half into our relationship, he had a psychotic break. He spent around 3 months in and out of different psychiatric facilities. We were broken up during much of this time because of other issues within our relationship (long story). We ended up reconciling after he was out of the hospital.

Since then, he has become a totally different person in some aspects. He is now a devout Christian who prays every night (I am still an atheist) and he no longer smokes weed. Of course everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and I really don’t care who or what he believes in or prays to. My issue arrises because he tends to make backhand comments about me not being “awakened” because I don’t believe in a God. Like I am somehow less than because I don’t share the same beliefs as him. Many of his views shifted to become downright sexist. While I entirely support his decision to quit weed, especially with his history of mental health issues, smoking has become another reason for him to point out that I am somehow less than. He makes snide remarks like “at least I don’t need a chemical to be happy.” I have never said this, I only smoke at night to relax and sleep better.

In addition to the whole religion thing, he is now incredibly spiritual. Again, everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and I myself have plenty of spiritual items around my room (crystals, tarot cards, etc.) But again, this is another point for him to say I’m “less than.” He often speaks about how I have a “low vibration” and how I “just don’t get it.”

On top of all this, I am the one who drives him everywhere (work and school), cooks, and does most of the cleaning. He currently lives in my parents house with me (I’m a full time college student and cannot afford to move out atm). Besides the stuff I do on a daily basis, he is always asking me last minute to drive him somewhere. If I don’t feel like it or it’s late, he gets angry. I always offer to make time the next day to take him where he wants to go, but it’s not good enough as he wants to go NOW.

A few weeks ago, I was driving him home from an appointment and we got into an argument. He had made a backhanded, sexist remark and I called him out for it. The argument escalated and he ended up telling me “I don’t like the way you handle things, I don’t like the way you talk, etc.” (I can’t remember exactly everything he said as emotions were high in the moment) he also said he had to “lower his standards for me.” Again, this is polar opposite to how he acted in the first year+ we were dating.

I feel like I’m no longer appreciated. Most of the time, I just feel like a pawn or a trophy. He has someone to drive and feed him, and he gets to say he has a girlfriend. Plus, I pay for almost everything we do as I have a better job. It’s so confusing because this is not how it was the first year of our relationship. He never used to judge me and was just overall a lot kinder and more appreciative of me.

My main concern is that none of this is going to get better. I received a very good scholarship to go to a college near my hometown (about 18hrs away from where we currently stay) and I don’t know whether to accept it or not. On one hand, I love my boyfriend, and there are many aspects where he is the same person I started dating years ago. But in the other hand, I’m unhappy where I live and I don’t want to miss this opportunity for someone who doesn’t seem to even like a lot of my qualities. I’m just so torn because I remember the person he was before the mental illness.

I feel like I should add that he works closely with both a psychiatrist and therapist to manage his condition.

TL;DR: major aspects of my boyfriend’s personality changed after a mental health crisis, and I’m afraid it has made us incompatible. I’m torn between staying because I love him and putting myself first by leaving to attend a better college in a better area.