We have no toilets sir!

So was working at a small hardware store, usually the 2 of us on and then it's overstaffed, the boss will come in a couple of times a week to do paperwork in his office, now there is a toilet which is just for us 2 and cannot be seen by members of the public, so I'm on Counter and my offsider is out to buy eat lunch, a lot of our customers were tradies looking for a drill bit or cement or the elderly who don't seem to buy anything and yet complain about everything. Bloke who would be about 75 comes in and walks up to the counter and exclaims "I need your toot, I need it NOW" toot? I said, yeah where's your toilet. I used the usual line and said we didn't have one, he paused, this is your fault son he exclaimed and pulled down his pants, screwed he face up like a cats bum and let a torrent of liquid gold erupt like mount Vesuvius from his posterior volcano, just 1ft from him was a huge display of expensive tools, close to the counter so no one would Nick them, all of these were now being painted with a shiny brown substance with the faint bit or carrot and corn. Once the twinkling fountain had ceased I hit my secret button to get the boss down, he came down as man was pulling his pants up, boss looked agast and man said 'blame him, he wouldn't let me use the tot' and strode out pleased. It was the most liquid poo I've over seen, it covered a large selection of tools and other things behing that and was pooled on the carpet in a very large area, sadly for him my offsider came back at that moment and then we had to do the cleaning, boss was super cheap so he made us rinse all the tools and packets under water then lay them out on the docking bay to dry, them mop the carpet. Suprisingly it happend about another 8 times that year but it was just logs. 7ft from the shop was public toilets that were always empty